I’m so happy for you!!!


My husband John was in Florida for a volunteer leadership summit for the Parkinsons Foundation.

When I saw this picture he sent us on his last morning, I was automatically joyful for him. Then, the thought of not being there myself crept in, and I had to catch my mind. Stop 🛑!

Longing and jealousy are insidious and fear/loss based. Knowing that doesn’t mean I am above the feelings. It takes an active practice:

Not judging my envy and longing, but also not allowing them to go underground and drive my reactions subconsciously.

What we ignore doesn’t go away. It lies in wait to pop out when we least expect it. Often with those we never wanted to show it to.

So I sit with it:

I might just need one breath to recognize and accept the envy, one to investigate what’s underlying, and one to nurture the part of me who feels abandoned. 3 breaths. To get back to unadulterated joy in his happiness.

Then, I actively practice gratitude for my own life. Would I actually want to swap complete lives with ANYONE? Hell, no!!!

Would I actually want to be there? In Florida, in July?

Envy is visceral in my gut sometimes. It jumps right out of my eyes or mouth before I can stop it. Like a FOMO fueled gremlin. Basking in joy helps. I truly am so happy that John had that experience. He has made incredible lemonade from these particular lemons. His sunrise ocean swim was a pivotal moment of awakening for him, but I’ll let him tell that story.